|From Angel's Nest School Pictures|
Dear Noelle and Gabriel,
If you are reading this, chances are I’m not with you anymore. I hope the passing of me isn’t too hard to bear, even though I know it would be for me if one of you ever were to go. You should be happy for mommy because mommy is with Jesus now. Heaven is where mommy is, and I’m waiting for (much later) you to join me.
I want you to know that even though mommy had no fear of dying, I did not go without much hesitation. I wanted to stay and grow old with you. I wanted to watch you do sports, run and laugh, make new friends, go lots of places, and hopefully, dedicate your lives to Jesus. Eventually I’d hoped to see you get married and have children of your own, so I do apologize for not being able to be there with you. I had hoped that God would keep me until I can see you, Noelle, walk down the isle, and I could fluff your dress for you. I had hoped that God would let me be a great mother-in-law for you, Gabriel, for my mother-in-law, your Ning Ning, was such a great example. I had hoped to help raise your babies—you know how much I love babies. I wanted to make sure that you grow up knowing your responsibilities and the meaning of your lives, and I prayed that God would grant me the wisdom and patience (you know I’m short a lot of times) for me to be His great tool to teach you.
You see, there were so many things I’ve yet to do with you, so I could not have gone without resistance. However, I know you’re in good hands. I know even though I’m your mother, I don’t control your destiny. In fact, there’re very limited things I could control as a human being. If God thinks you’re better off without me, even though probably none would see it that way now, I know you really are! Daddy loves you very much, even though he shows his love very differently. I hope you would respect and take care of him when you’re capable. You are loved, by so many people, including me, beyond your imagination. Don’t let anyone tells you otherwise.
I’ll be patiently waiting for you to join me in heaven.